TIME

We wait on time to go pass like a thick mist.  A thick mist that seep through the both of us.  As we wait on time, we think about what was between us needs to rekindle.  Out of respect for each other's then LOVE, we remain civil between each other.  We still wait on TIME, the time that we rushed.  The rushed TIME that got us to this point creating a thick mist between us.

I cry away from you so the tears can run slowly down my face.  I hate the thick mist between us because I want to give you the world.  However, I can not so I hold resentment towards you because your best was not enough. 

We wait on time because we know that we have to split.  We split to preserve the LOVE, the Love is still there and must be preserved. 

So we wait on time to split us beacause the courage is not there so we could still be together in the future.  I look at you frequently wondering...do you hold resentment towards me too; do you still love me deeply like I love you; do you know that I love you.

"TIME SEEPS THROUGH LIKE A SERPENT. WILL YOU ALLOW IT TO BITE YOU OR WILL YOU CAPTURE IT."

Anxiety and Faith

Yesterday, it was a bad day but today even worse. I was driving to the career center so I could start getting a job related to my career goals. It surprises me that I never had assistance before.  The world has really put my age group (21-25 years) out in the cold air expecting us to pay all these loans, bills, and more. 


IT SUCKS


However, my faith is stronger. Instead of sitting around crying about it, I decided to say "no" and see what I am satisfied about. I am not happy with the position I am in life. I have two Bachelor of Arts Degrees and I am working on my Masters.  I am at a job and I do love my job but I know there is something more for me. I will like to utilize my education and skills more. That's all whether it is at my current job or somewhere else and it pays properly for the work that I do. 


I WAS IN HIGHER ED SCHOOL FOR FOUR YEARS


They say that undergraduate is like getting a high school diploma now.  Well I got the two undergraduate degrees and it has served me well. It got me a job in South Africa but I missed home so much in the states and I came back home.  It has been harder for me here to go for the American dream.  I am hopefully now working on my graduate degree and the job that I am in now is customer service. The people that I come across daily at work has really kept me hopefully for something more.  


THESE POSITIVE THOUGHTS HAS KEPT ME FAITHFUL DURING MY ANXIETY ATTACK.


Today I was driving and it hit me. All my emotions.  I just got overwhelmed. I was just tried. I have been working hard. living honestly. and just busting my self to death trying to get to a better life. My heart was in my throat at this point when all these thoughts were running pass my head and I just busted out crying. I really could not go through my day.


BUT I DID


I sat in my car and I prayed. I told the Lord to remind me of my current blessings.  Slowly I stopped crying and began to focus on my present.  The reason why I was in my car because I was driving to my new apartment to sign a lease.  This is one of my blessings. If I could afford a new apartment, I am not bad off.  I started to see that I know love and get love in return from my family, boyfriend, and strangers. That is a blessing.


THROUGH FAITH, I OVER CAME MY ANXIETY AND LIFE KEEPS ON MOVING ON FOR ME.


QUESTION: WHAT ARE YOUR BLESSINGS IN LIFE?

Dear readers,

I am in a transition in my life. Ok! I know that I am always in a transition but this time is different.  I had left my hometown searching for something more and really be an example to my peers and the youth. The way that I did this. I moved to an unfamiliar place.

The move has been a wonderful journey. I am in graduate school. I have a job. I am a freelance dancer that already has performed in Blumenthal's Spirit Square Theatre.   I just recently got a new apartment that fits me better. I move this week. 

THINGS ARE HAPPEN...

Honestly, I want more.  Before I left my hometown, I fell in love with this wonderful guy.  I miss daily. Ok! I miss him every second of my existence.  Honestly, I had some good relationships but this one relationship has really tested me to open my heart.  Open my heart WIDE open.

QUESTIONS HAVE SURFACED

My question to myself. Am I really happy at the point that I am in life? My answer is that I am satisfied. But I want more.  I want to have a better relationship with the lord. I want to dance more. I want my company to have a building that we could call home. I want to spend more time with the love of my life. I want to see my family more. I want to read more about everything in the world. I want to be able to go to more outings. I want to love harder.

I WANT. I WANT. I WANT.

My love will say than get busy. I can have all of these things right now.  So what is blocking me to having things to a better life.  I am blocking me. Oh! yes we are still at this point readers but I am acknowledging it. I am taking one step at a time. I am still growing. Will you grow with me.

QUESTION TO READERS
What is stopping you from your deepest desires?

DEAR READERS

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!  I must say for the longest time this day has not been my favorite.  For on this day, nothing of LOVE never happened for me.  This year, I do celebrate Valentine's Day and I feel so much love happening for me.  Its mid-morning right now and I opened my Bible to read.  Still trying to finish reading Luke.  The scripture that spoke to me was: It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to him through whom they come-Luke 17:1.  I related this Scripture to my entire life.  First I will discuss how this relates to my company, MufukaWorks Dance Company. 

The company will be opened for a year in March and it has been a struggle.  Right Now! It is finally getting recognition that it deserves.  We just finished our first school tour and our first major production, AWOL's Situations: Shakespeare's Sonnets The trials and tribulations of the Youth.  

Of course with success, it comes stumbling blocks.  These blocks come from negative energy surrounding the company and stress pulling down.  so what to do?  I stop for a moment and go to my knees and pray just like I did when I had a vision for the company.  He answered me through this Scripture.  I smiled and I remember the LOVE that's around the company.   Suddenly the negative energy slips away.  I am human and I stumble in my personal life and these words from the play Situations struck within me, "Be the change you to see." With the grace of God, I am still standing and he was wrapped me with all his LOVE.  I give that LOVE back to you. 

CHECK OUT:
1)  Scripture Luke 17:1
2) Stay focus on positive energy
3) Give LOVE
4)Receive LOVE