Yesterday, it was a bad day but today even worse. I was driving to the career center so I could start getting a job related to my career goals. It surprises me that I never had assistance before. The world has really put my age group (21-25 years) out in the cold air expecting us to pay all these loans, bills, and more.
IT SUCKS
However, my faith is stronger. Instead of sitting around crying about it, I decided to say "no" and see what I am satisfied about. I am not happy with the position I am in life. I have two Bachelor of Arts Degrees and I am working on my Masters. I am at a job and I do love my job but I know there is something more for me. I will like to utilize my education and skills more. That's all whether it is at my current job or somewhere else and it pays properly for the work that I do.
I WAS IN HIGHER ED SCHOOL FOR FOUR YEARS
They say that undergraduate is like getting a high school diploma now. Well I got the two undergraduate degrees and it has served me well. It got me a job in South Africa but I missed home so much in the states and I came back home. It has been harder for me here to go for the American dream. I am hopefully now working on my graduate degree and the job that I am in now is customer service. The people that I come across daily at work has really kept me hopefully for something more.
THESE POSITIVE THOUGHTS HAS KEPT ME FAITHFUL DURING MY ANXIETY ATTACK.
Today I was driving and it hit me. All my emotions. I just got overwhelmed. I was just tried. I have been working hard. living honestly. and just busting my self to death trying to get to a better life. My heart was in my throat at this point when all these thoughts were running pass my head and I just busted out crying. I really could not go through my day.
BUT I DID
I sat in my car and I prayed. I told the Lord to remind me of my current blessings. Slowly I stopped crying and began to focus on my present. The reason why I was in my car because I was driving to my new apartment to sign a lease. This is one of my blessings. If I could afford a new apartment, I am not bad off. I started to see that I know love and get love in return from my family, boyfriend, and strangers. That is a blessing.
THROUGH FAITH, I OVER CAME MY ANXIETY AND LIFE KEEPS ON MOVING ON FOR ME.
QUESTION: WHAT ARE YOUR BLESSINGS IN LIFE?
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Dear readers,
I am in a transition in my life. Ok! I know that I am always in a transition but this time is different. I had left my hometown searching for something more and really be an example to my peers and the youth. The way that I did this. I moved to an unfamiliar place.
The move has been a wonderful journey. I am in graduate school. I have a job. I am a freelance dancer that already has performed in Blumenthal's Spirit Square Theatre. I just recently got a new apartment that fits me better. I move this week.
THINGS ARE HAPPEN...
Honestly, I want more. Before I left my hometown, I fell in love with this wonderful guy. I miss daily. Ok! I miss him every second of my existence. Honestly, I had some good relationships but this one relationship has really tested me to open my heart. Open my heart WIDE open.
QUESTIONS HAVE SURFACED
My question to myself. Am I really happy at the point that I am in life? My answer is that I am satisfied. But I want more. I want to have a better relationship with the lord. I want to dance more. I want my company to have a building that we could call home. I want to spend more time with the love of my life. I want to see my family more. I want to read more about everything in the world. I want to be able to go to more outings. I want to love harder.
I WANT. I WANT. I WANT.
My love will say than get busy. I can have all of these things right now. So what is blocking me to having things to a better life. I am blocking me. Oh! yes we are still at this point readers but I am acknowledging it. I am taking one step at a time. I am still growing. Will you grow with me.
QUESTION TO READERS
What is stopping you from your deepest desires?
The move has been a wonderful journey. I am in graduate school. I have a job. I am a freelance dancer that already has performed in Blumenthal's Spirit Square Theatre. I just recently got a new apartment that fits me better. I move this week.
THINGS ARE HAPPEN...
Honestly, I want more. Before I left my hometown, I fell in love with this wonderful guy. I miss daily. Ok! I miss him every second of my existence. Honestly, I had some good relationships but this one relationship has really tested me to open my heart. Open my heart WIDE open.
QUESTIONS HAVE SURFACED
My question to myself. Am I really happy at the point that I am in life? My answer is that I am satisfied. But I want more. I want to have a better relationship with the lord. I want to dance more. I want my company to have a building that we could call home. I want to spend more time with the love of my life. I want to see my family more. I want to read more about everything in the world. I want to be able to go to more outings. I want to love harder.
I WANT. I WANT. I WANT.
My love will say than get busy. I can have all of these things right now. So what is blocking me to having things to a better life. I am blocking me. Oh! yes we are still at this point readers but I am acknowledging it. I am taking one step at a time. I am still growing. Will you grow with me.
QUESTION TO READERS
What is stopping you from your deepest desires?
Friday, October 21, 2011
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE.
Yesterday, I could not sleep because I was so anxious of my meeting today. Today, I started counseling and its just an effort of acknowledging that I needed some help cooping with some issues in my past. So I did not sleep and I went to the meeting all late. I apologized and gave no excuse. I just told the truth.
The truth: I was so nervous about this meeting to the point that I was not going to come. I did come to meeting so lets talk.
WHERE DO I BEGIN?
I started by telling her. Why I decided to take counseling sessions. I started from there and the session went on. It went well.
SO WHY DID I START?
I started because I realized that my past was affecting my future. I was not fully healed from some of the past events in life and I carried it on into the way of making decisions in my future.
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE.
In this new step in my life. I am making better choices by putting God first and the rest is flowing. I am intentionally seeing the people in my life and seeing if they have positive energy. I listen more. I stop complaining of my situations that I am not happy with but understand each thing in my life has a blessing resting within it.
I AM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE AND I AM HEALING.
The truth: I was so nervous about this meeting to the point that I was not going to come. I did come to meeting so lets talk.
WHERE DO I BEGIN?
I started by telling her. Why I decided to take counseling sessions. I started from there and the session went on. It went well.
SO WHY DID I START?
I started because I realized that my past was affecting my future. I was not fully healed from some of the past events in life and I carried it on into the way of making decisions in my future.
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE.
In this new step in my life. I am making better choices by putting God first and the rest is flowing. I am intentionally seeing the people in my life and seeing if they have positive energy. I listen more. I stop complaining of my situations that I am not happy with but understand each thing in my life has a blessing resting within it.
I AM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY LIFE AND I AM HEALING.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
BIBLE READING
Reading the Bible..
2 CHRON 25-26
THE PRIESTS DID NOT ALLOW UZZIAH TO BURN INCENSE AND INCENSE AND HE WAS ANGRY. WHAT TO HIM AND WHY?
this question was brought to me
MY RESPONSE
The fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor shall the children be put to death for their fathers, but a person shall die for his own sin.-2 Chron 25 part of verse 4. This is a perfect example of like father;like son but each paid for their own sin.
UZZIAH WAS THE SON OF Amaziah and both died for his own sin.
As for Uzziah sin, it is not for you Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord, but for the priest's, the sons of Aaron, who are consecrated to burn incense get out sanctuary, for you have trespassed! You shall have no humor from the Lord God." Then Uzziah became furious; and he had a censor in his hand to burn intense.
And while he was angry with the priests, leprosy broke out on his forehead, before the priest all the priests looked at him and there, on his forehead, before the priests in the house of the Lord, beside the incense altar. and Azariah the chief priest and all the priests looked at him and there, on his foreword, he was leprous, so they thrust him out of that place. Indeed he also hurried to get out, because the Lord had struck him.
King Uzzziah was a leper until the day of his death. He dwelt in an isolated house, because he was a leper; for he was cut off from the house of the lord than Jotham his son was over the kings house, judging the people of the land. 2 Chron 26:18-21
So Uzziah rested with his fathers, and they buried him with his fathers in the field of burial which belonged to the kings, for they said, "He is a leper." then Jotham his son reigned in his place. -2 Chron 26:23
2 CHRON 25-26
THE PRIESTS DID NOT ALLOW UZZIAH TO BURN INCENSE AND INCENSE AND HE WAS ANGRY. WHAT TO HIM AND WHY?
this question was brought to me
MY RESPONSE
The fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor shall the children be put to death for their fathers, but a person shall die for his own sin.-2 Chron 25 part of verse 4. This is a perfect example of like father;like son but each paid for their own sin.
UZZIAH WAS THE SON OF Amaziah and both died for his own sin.
As for Uzziah sin, it is not for you Uzziah, to burn incense to the Lord, but for the priest's, the sons of Aaron, who are consecrated to burn incense get out sanctuary, for you have trespassed! You shall have no humor from the Lord God." Then Uzziah became furious; and he had a censor in his hand to burn intense.
And while he was angry with the priests, leprosy broke out on his forehead, before the priest all the priests looked at him and there, on his forehead, before the priests in the house of the Lord, beside the incense altar. and Azariah the chief priest and all the priests looked at him and there, on his foreword, he was leprous, so they thrust him out of that place. Indeed he also hurried to get out, because the Lord had struck him.
King Uzzziah was a leper until the day of his death. He dwelt in an isolated house, because he was a leper; for he was cut off from the house of the lord than Jotham his son was over the kings house, judging the people of the land. 2 Chron 26:18-21
So Uzziah rested with his fathers, and they buried him with his fathers in the field of burial which belonged to the kings, for they said, "He is a leper." then Jotham his son reigned in his place. -2 Chron 26:23
Monday, September 26, 2011
this is my hair
I have been natural for a consist one year now. I have always been a person that could never do my own hair. Being natural now, I could now do my hair. Here are some pictures:
Sunday, September 11, 2011
a day of reflection
Today I reflect and remember. Today marks the 10th anniversary of 9/11, 10 years past already. I remember where I was during 9/11. I was in my high school's history class listening to the radio and barely able to comprehend that this was happening to my country. I remember thinking of the families left behind and the country becoming united to support them.
It has been 10 years now. This brings me to reflect on myself and ask do I play a part of the unity in my country now. At this point, I do find a sense of peace in my life and I use that peace to give out positive energy to others.
This weekend was my graduate school weekend. It asked me four questions: what is my heart;what do I bring to the table;what is my gift;and what do I expect from graduate school. My answers were God and Family;Dance;bring positive energy;a sense of confidence in my field.
I was comuting four hours to school but I moved closer to my graduate school this year. I have a job to barely pay my bills and I am adjusting being young in a bigger city. It took some planing but I am here.
I have a great person in my life who challenges me to be my better self. I do have some issues but all in all life is good.
what makes you at peace?
It has been 10 years now. This brings me to reflect on myself and ask do I play a part of the unity in my country now. At this point, I do find a sense of peace in my life and I use that peace to give out positive energy to others.
This weekend was my graduate school weekend. It asked me four questions: what is my heart;what do I bring to the table;what is my gift;and what do I expect from graduate school. My answers were God and Family;Dance;bring positive energy;a sense of confidence in my field.
I was comuting four hours to school but I moved closer to my graduate school this year. I have a job to barely pay my bills and I am adjusting being young in a bigger city. It took some planing but I am here.
I have a great person in my life who challenges me to be my better self. I do have some issues but all in all life is good.
what makes you at peace?
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