A sunday and A sermon

Ok! I have admitted it. I have not gone to church in the last month and some weeks. I went to church for some accountability.  Boy! I receive it.  Through my pastor, God spoke to me. We talked about acting with the flesh also once Saved always saved. I am saved but I must say that I have NOT being serving him of his deserving. I forgot his Love for me.

I forgot his love that he showed me. Bringing me with many blessings and I am not showing the Love in return but worst my broking fellowship on God could had a bad affect on others. What had happen was I was serving him through my flesh.

When faced with certain things I could not handle temptation. Now! it is a new ball game going with the lead of Genesis 27:1-28:9.

"A good begining does not mean a successful end."
Lead me Lord...

I woke up

I woke up this morning with a new attitude and I am so ready to do what I do.  I know in my heart that I am meant for something great. With that said I woke up with a new attitude.

I woke up thinking: "Dance is Life and Life is Dance."

I woke up thinking: "Family is everything."

I woke up thinking: "He saved me for a reason."

I woke up

it hurts sometimes

when no one outside your family gets you, it hurts sometimes.

for i shall not focus on that so much. i shall focus on the purpose God has for me. i pray for direction. help me.

i WAS NOT MADE TO SIT

Today I really got some work done.  What work? Personally I had got some reading done, a quote that came across to me in my reading: "Power is discovering and nurturing your greatness, she says, "Each of us has a uniqueness that is GOD-given." -elle L.J Edmondson Bell, Ph.D. She makes sense to me, her words started off my morning in a positive light. Just like that, I jump started my work for my company and grad school. Most importantly I started off my work on me, I have had a few ideas running through my head in the last past weeks and finally I got time to seat down to shimmer it. 

It is important to shimmer....

Family is important

As I leave to go back to my hometown after a long weekend away, I took time to talk to my cousin for my see you later. In the mix of the conversation, I thought about what will it be to not have family.  I thought about the time that I was in South Africa without my family in my visual presence. 

I didn't cope well. For I was in South Africa before I knew myself, a dangerous time to be away because I could have gotten into some serious trouble.  It was the thought of my family that kept me sane....

So if I did not have my family where will I be? I will be in depression on my own; I will always think that I am alone; every problem that I have will seem like the end of the world; worst of all when I did not believe in myself there will be no one to tell me: "I believe in you."

Now he has a plan for everyone but I believe in his plan for me. He knew that to preserve my true purpose. I needed family.

When I think about it, family is important to me. At the moment I made a pet stop on my way to my hometown to see my brother.

As I write this I think of my long weekend and I needed it. What did I need? some sleep and some positive insight from some one who really seen my journey. It is keeping me going.

Here is to family

Good Morning!

For the past few days I just slept, if you ever get an opportunity to do that please do. I was feeling sorry for myself and all I really needed to do was just sleep. After my relaxation I released something. I must live life and do me. Things will come...Later on today I will be taking a class with April Berry I am so excited. There is a alot of work for me to do this week so I must concentrate. For now I am smelling the roses. really smelling them. Have a good day!

TAKE TIME TO REFLECT

I encourage you to take time to reflect. At this moment I am told that I have a lot going for me.  As I look at my life I guess to the outside eye that is true.  Why do I want more? and I am not appreciate of what I have.

Less than a year ago I wanted to be back with my family and now that I am here with them. I want more now...and more...

So what do I want alot of things but once I have it will happiness come.  That is when I took time to reflect.  After my grad school yesterday I was so encourage by all the information giving me so I slept. I really slept and now it is Sunday. I am just relaxing...reflecting on my life and future. What am I discovering today I need sleep, live in the present, and go from there.

IMPORTANCE OF HAVING COURAGE

One of my juggles in life is graduate school,  it is one of my juggles but all my juggles are connected.  In graduate school today we had a speaker (sculptor/professor). He made valid points through out his presentation of being an artist.  A perfect speaker for me today because it set me up of what the Art Transit Program is about. 

The Art Transit Program has Public Art and he has his art in this program.  Through out his presentation he shares the process of creating his art. One of the points that grabbed my attention was "IMPORTANCE OF HAVING COURAGE."

I needed these words of encouragement.  As an artist I strive to create something different.  My art is dance and I must have courage with in myself to push the envelope.  With that say I must have courage to FAIL....

Failing is not failure because with failing you always learn something from it.  These past months I a  learning something from failing.  I was failing to connect to my community about my art of dance.   I was failing because for some reason I am not creating a diverse audience.

My audience seems to be of similar backgrounds.  As an artist I strive to connect to all backgrounds.  So I am back into the creative side of how to connect to all backgrounds.  I learned today in graduate class of paying attention to detail because I might come up with something different. 

I must say today...

I am sleepy....

Alot of information has come to me at once today...it needs time to sink in. This weekend I will reflect and will start taking my graduate school to the fullest extent of appreciating every moment. 

Oh! you are THE dancer.

In November, it will be exactly one year since I have been back home.  Before I was in "Jozi" South AFRICA (the big city of GOLD) and now I am back home to my small town in the States. A big difference for me to shift back into a town that I call home.

After my ballet class today, I went to the health food store. As I was ordering some items I gave her my name and she said you are THE dancer. I come from a small town but big enough to not be known by everyone.  So when the health food store lady, people in Wal-Mart, and all the different people at coffee shops that I go to recognize me. It touches me.

It touches me because these people whether I knew them or not. These are the people that kept me going through out my career.  When I was in South Africa (not knowing anyone), I felt lonely at times but I thought about the bigger picture.  The bigger picture was living the dream for the people at home. That a small town girl could make it anywhere with just a little faith. 

I thought about my town and how diverse it is in culture. 

I was in South Africa for two years. During those two years the beginning development steps of my company, MufukaWorks were forming. I wanted to dance the stories of my town that kept me sane all during those two years  also a touch of South Africa. So I begin to write ideas and how I will like my dance company to form. After a good two years, I came back to my home town to develop my company.

Oh! you are THE dancer. To be recognized once in awhile keeps me going it reminds that my ideas of dancing back in my home town was not such a bad idea. Moving back to my home town is starting over for me.  For my town does not know me as the professional dancer because my professional dance work was outside of my home town. 

So I have to prove myself to them.....it is a challenge and some know what I am intending to do but some do not. It is another journey for me and I am up for it.

Oh! you are THE dancer and one day my students will get the same response.  Whether they are lawyers, doctors, or etc. in their future life, they will always carry the dance within them.

LIFE GOES ON...

I am sitting in the library and I came across a kid with a uniform on. The uniform was from Thomas Heyward Academy. Thomas Heyward Academy (THA) is my old school. I went there from 5th to 12th grade. It set me up for my whole life.  My father sent there because it has great accrediation.  I did not realize how it prepared me for life until I lived life. Living life is tested when your on own. Being on my own for me, it means paying my bills by finding work. Making every day decisions by not depending on someone else telling me what to do. All in all standing on my own two feet even when people are against me. 

THA instilled these lessons in me. By allowing me to have school pride, it build confidence within me.  Giving me the opportunity to have special attention in my studies, I never felt left behind.  It taught me to build my character and discover who I am.  I came from a different background then most of my peers. I strived for their acceptance. I recieve their acceptance when I finally realized to just be me. 

Even if I came from a different background and race, they saw me only.   They showed their love in return by voting me Homecoming Queen.   I won and at 24 years old that title should just be a title.  But to me it is everything; I look back at time all the time. When I face trails in my life of people being against me for my outside appearance or background. AND THAT TIME....it reminds me that people can see you just for you.

Now....the power of school pride lives on to another kid. It is spirit week at THA and his telling me all about it..his so happy, the point is he is talking about his school. If the school does not have pride, how do you expect the kids to have pride within themselves. 

Even if I graduated in 2004, I realize that life goes on but how do you connect everything so you can move forward to a better life.

Heres to DEAR OLE THA.....

A morning coffee

This morning I was on time, I made it for my Yoga Class at Dancing Dogs Yoga. Lately my body has been challenged and I needed something to get it back into alignment. I also like that I have to be somewhere at a certain time.


Owning my own business does gives me freedom with time. But it does become complicated at times because I have to fully commit myself to a schedule or things will not be done. Some times I do feel like sleeping all day but I can not do that. I have a lot to do. People to see. and dreams to make happen.


ha ha ha ....i just had to go there.


So I did my yoga got centered and all. Now...my MORNING COFFEE. A bitter in taste but has a sweetness to it. Just like me...what a perfect cup of coffee but the setting in the coffee shop is even more perfect. Just across from me is a young man with blond hair, I have seen him here before. He hunches over his laptop and is very uneasy with his body language. He always gets up abruptly and rushes for another cup of coffee. and then he sits back down and hunches over his laptop again. BACK TO WORK. (I see him saying with his body language)


I have noticed him but I wonder if he has every noticed me. Not like I have a weird crush or something. If I liked someone, I will definitely go and tell him.  But I wonder if he has every noticed me in a sense of observing on what is on the outside world. Early this morning before leaving Yoga, I was listening to the radio and they were discussing technology destroying face to face communication with people. If there was no wi-fi, I will be sitting here with no laptop and just the coffee and so will the guy across from me.....


Will it force some kind of conversation? Possible so....or if there were no wi-fi, we will probably not be sitting here in the first place.  So these are two points, all in all does technology ruin face to face communication? and how will it be ten years from now.


I guess we just have to trust our parents to teach us right from wrong and hopefully it will stick in our heads. I guess we will just have to trust that our parents will have more family dinners forcing us to converse with each other. So maybe ten years from now, we will preserve the face to face communication and have some morals that the technology does not teach us.


A morning coffee....got me with all these thoughts this morning. For the rest of my day, I will meet up with this new male friend of mine (i think he wants more than friends), I don't know if I am ready for that but I will see. Then I have plans to really get my grad school homework done and also beyond. By beyond, I mean read beyond the assignments that they gave me. Our last round table conversation, it brought up some authors, books, etc. that I was not familiar with. I want to read those to....


At this time, it seems like no time. Lastly my day will end with workout and teaching my Afro Russe Dance Class. A morning coffee....brings so many possibilities.

monday

i woke up this morning with a new attitude. one thing about being on my own, i have a lot of time to think about things. this could be a good thing or bad thing. today it was a good thing. i woke up this morning determined to do some work. i had a schedule and everything. one thing on my schedule was to get out of the house at 9:30am. OK! i got out at 10:30am but i look fresh

i took care of myself this morning. i got some make up on and some real clothes. being a dancer, i tend to just wear some baggy  pants or my dance dresses.

BUT today i felt like i was apart of the society. so.....i became more of the society. i went to the library. i using the wi-fi and im working. getting those small things that i needed to get down.

so.....i start my monday off by getting out of bed and praying and getting ready for what the day has to offer.....

Its morning!

Bright and early in the morning, I am in Savannah, GA working on a contracted production for my dance company, MufukaWorks. Yea! this is a life for people who have no commitments to anyone but themselves. This got me thinking: Am I ready for a relationship at this point? Will continue this thought later, I am getting ready to leave for work now.