For the past years, I have gone through some hard times. It seems that I am always struggling finding inner peace. Nevertheless, I never really got to the core why I struggle with finding inner peace.
Well this time, I really looked at myself from the outside and asked myself seriously, WHAT IS GOING ON ELSIE?
Here is my self evaluation:
1) I complain way too much. Yes! I have hard times but I am still living and standing.
2) I believe that I deserve better. I have worked hard all my life. I am not in the place that I want to be. I actually learned from my job as a guest service agent about selfless service-doing something for people and not expecting anything. This is a valuable lesson that I shall instill in my personal life. Yes! I work hard but my day will come.
3) I have strong beliefs but willing to put a curve ball in my beliefs for others happiness. This compromises my happiness.
Today, I went to church. I was late but I was there. I sat in the overflow room. The pastor preached on count it all JOY when you fail. I have failed in finding my inner peace. I have been having, cake and eating it to. I recognize the tearing up of my life. At 25 years old, I am still learning. I know now to surround myself with people whom can hold me accountable for my actions. I will go to church more and do more reflecting.
I love the Lord and excited to tell people about him. At this moment in life, I am getting strengthen by him so I can strengthen others.
My changes:
1) STOP COMPLAINING
2) STANDING FIRM IN MY BELIEFS
3) ENJOYING LIFE
I work at a hotel and it is the perfect time to reflect. As the guest come through, they all tell me their stories and how their day was today. As they tell me their stories, I begin to reflect on my life. Originally, I came working for the hotel just to get money but it really has changed my life. I listen to people, hear all their problems, serve the best customer service, and of course I get some bad seeds sometimes. However, people are people so you can not please everyone but I always seem to turn it around some way. So, today in my life I reflect.
I think about the people in my life. Some people in my life really drain alot out of me but I always had people like that in my life. I made a decision to say "NO." I thought by saying no will hurt feelings but saying no actually makes them stronger.
TODAY IN MY LIFE.
I understood more that God gots this and I do not need to try to do his work. I had a long day today. My family is very upset with my decisions. I understand why they are mad and they put me into thinking about the decisions that I made. I hope that they will understand. In order for me to grow, I have to start making decisions and they can not just yell at me. They just need to tell their perspective. Well, I heard their perspective and I actually agree with them.
TODAY IN MY LIFE
I realize that I am an adult now. Having fun can wait for now, I have responsibilities.
TODAY IN MY LIFE
I enjoyed the small moments of going to the Harvey B. Gantt Museum and just enjoying recapping on history.
TODAY IN MY LIFE
I realize in order for me to have peace with anyone. I must have peace within myself.
TODAY IN MY LIFE
I realize that I do have power within me to really succeed.
Most of you know that I am always on facebook or blogging, I know your also wondering where I have been? Well, I have been living life and rushed it so so much. I have asked for a time out to just be with God and talk.
Once again, I rushed life and put myself in a situation that I'm unable to justify anymore. All of this was just a harsh reality to me but not a surprise. So, I start from the beginning. I moved away from my hometown to chase a better life. I am in graduate school. I work. I dance sometimes. I have a lovely person in my life.
Every since I moved to this place chasing a better life, I have been running since I got here. Back in forward so fast, I forgot the originally purpose that I moved here. You see I have really spend the past three years on my personal growth. Seeing if everything I do is lined up to God's glory.
I SAID TIME OUT TODAY
I really had got far far far away from my beliefs. You see I have been chasing a better life so fast. I forgot to stop and breath to enjoy each moment and really ask myself: Am I ok with this life?
I SAID TIME OUT TODAY
I give it to you Lord. I know that I have not been living to glorify you. I have not put you in the center of my life. I repent lord for all my mistakes made by leading with my flesh. In my head I justify everything knowing that I was just not living right. I have many people whom look to me asking about you. I know your real in my heart however I let my flesh take over. I know now that you have a plan for me. I should not try to plan it for you.
TIME OUT
I answer to only you.
