NOT AFRAID

About a year ago in September, I went down to my knees and I cried. I could not do it anymore. I ASKED YOU TO TAKE OVER. I cried. I cried. I cried. I ASKED YOU TO TAKE OVER. For the longest time, I did it on my own. I had no idea how I did it on my own. I ASKED YOU TO TAKE OVER.

I saw you take over other people's lives and I saw how you helped them. So I watched them on how they lived. I watched them and I followed their example.

I ASKED YOU TO TAKE OVER.

I went down to my knees and I cried. I could not do it anymore. At this moment, I feel like that again. That same low feeling when I went to my knees. I cried. I could not do it anymore.

I saw you take over other people's lives and I saw how you helped them. I watched them and I followed their example.

I did what I saw. The whole routine of going to worship, study sessions, and even the socials.

It got me to really change and things in my life were changing for the best. You were helping me. It did take you a long time but you did help me.

BUT I came back into little sins. The same sins that brought me to my knees. It was just a little sin here and there. It is not that bad. BUT then I realize, I did not watch closely on the other people that you helped.

LIKE what did they do behind close doors. They probably prayed and cried more asking you to help more. When they come out into the world, they were Good because you were inside them.  I missed that part. I was working for your LOVE and not allowing you to just LOVE. I was working for rewards and not allowing you to just LOVE me. and now! I see that you want that LOVE back to.

So I am slowly coming out of my own energy, I pray for you to  release those little sins from me. NO BIG SINS because anything not obedient to your word is BIG.

I am heading to bed now. My reflection of the day:
1) my dance classes that i teach went well. My Afro Russe Robics Class is getting more dancers. I love teaching non dancers of the  fabulous and grown age range for Afro Russe Robics. BECAUSE I feel so good inside especially when their bodies begin to change for the better. The students being older gives me the opportunity to learn so much from their life stories.

-I got some library time in. I even order two books Bird by Bird and A whole new mind
- I talked to an interesting person today in the library and he reminded me that their our other people out there wondering about you.

3) Yoga at dancing dogs yoga was good. My intention was for stretching exercise and I definitely fulfilled it.

4) The invoices went out today. I am learning how to be more business professional.
5) I cooked and a warm bath in epsom salt.

on the surface sounds great huh

What to work on tomorrow?
- I pray for you to give me encouragement for Grad School assignments. You blessed me for a reason and I need to remember to put in the work because I do belong there.

-Ill repent today

As I listen to Eminem's Not Afraid....I remember what I read from you long ago...Fear is not option. Ok! I paraphrased it.

I ask you to take over completely.