woke up bible reading

Every morning, my co-pastor sends me bible reading passages in a text message. Some mornings, I do consistently answer and some mornings I don't. I know:I need to stop trying and just do. I am growing people, making God the first priority. 

SO TODAY'S BIBLE READING 1 KINGS 11-12

QUESTION AND ANSWER: WHAT DID SOLOMON DO AGAINST GOD THAT GOD TOOK THE KINGDOM FROM SOLOMON'S SON? and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; but he did not keep what the Lord had commanded.  Therefore the Lord said to Solomon, because you have done this, and have not kept my covenant and my statues, which I have command you, I will surely tear the kingdom away from you and give it to your servant.  Nevertheless I will not do it in your days, for the sake of your father David; I will tear it out of the hand of your son.  1 KINGS 11:10-12

WHEN I READ THE CHAPTERS AND FOUND THIS ANSWER, I JUST SHOUTED OUT UMMMM EVEN WORSE. YOUR CHILD GETS THE BURDEN OF YOUR SIN.  I don't have children but I will.  I do have people that I care about in my life.  I also have children that are my students.  I care about my people deeply and I realize to scan my life for sin because my actions could affect the people that I just adore.  So I did. What did I learn?

I learned that not to engage into something that totally contradicts your said beliefs.  The question will arise do you really believe what you say you believe.  My past actions have been in the same light as Solomon.  what i learned was that my temptation was turning my relationships into projects.  Really believing that I can change the heart of someone, it was because every relationship that I have been in always been that way.  For I was wrong, I could only plant a seed.  For just like Jesus change me, he will work on these hearts.  They will have to just accept him into their life.  With me doing this instead of me changing hearts, I was changed.  I recognized it a little late but I publicized it. REPENTED. PRAYED AND NOW I am beginning my healing process.  Ready for any consequences that may arise from my actions.  For I loved him but I love God more.